In the earlier years of our kids Autism we were always running after them, blocking them, taking them apart from things and saying "no". Upon reflection of the reasoning behind our behavior was exactly, it came down to WE WERE AFRAID WHAT OF PEOPLE THINK. If our kids ran up to a birthday party, picnic, moon bounce or what have you, it was the 100 mph obstacle course to prevent any sort of interaction or interruption Shame on us!
Part of our children's ability to feel accepted is our allowing them to embrace things around them and by doing so, be embraced in return. How can we expect them to feel secure in themselves if every time the are excited for something, we say "NO". They can sense our discomfort, our fear and our shame.
We have learned that the best way for acceptance is to ALLOW. For example, a couple of weeks ago we went for a walk in the park by our house. This park pulls out all of the stops boasting a stable yard, old fort remnants covered picnic areas and jungle gym's galore. It's the perfect sport for family reunions and company picnics. This day was no exception; The pavilion was swarming with giggling children, music, food, and a giant moon bounce. Our little boy took off running and, before we could even try to stop him, his shoes were off and he was inside jumping with all of the kids.
Now consider this for a moment. From a behavioral perspective, nothing about this should be discouraged. He is interacting with strangers (even if non-verbal) and putting himself out there. The only reason it seems wrong to us is because we are wondering what people are thinking. Can we handle our kids? Do we have manners? What is wrong with our family? So we decided to "fix it". No we are not going to toss our morals out the window but we are going to loosen up a little. So we simply say, "my son and daughter are Autistic; They don't understand the concept of this is a private party", and 98% of the time we are greeted with warm acceptance.
All of these years we have said no and the rest of the world was willing to embrace us. We as parents are responsible for creating an environment that is stable for progress; even if for the little things. Everything will add up over time so start now; start saying yes.
*Photo borrowed from http://www.iloveachildwithautism.com/AutismShirts.html, they sell awesome T-shirts to helo support autism awareness
Part of our children's ability to feel accepted is our allowing them to embrace things around them and by doing so, be embraced in return. How can we expect them to feel secure in themselves if every time the are excited for something, we say "NO". They can sense our discomfort, our fear and our shame.
We have learned that the best way for acceptance is to ALLOW. For example, a couple of weeks ago we went for a walk in the park by our house. This park pulls out all of the stops boasting a stable yard, old fort remnants covered picnic areas and jungle gym's galore. It's the perfect sport for family reunions and company picnics. This day was no exception; The pavilion was swarming with giggling children, music, food, and a giant moon bounce. Our little boy took off running and, before we could even try to stop him, his shoes were off and he was inside jumping with all of the kids.
All of these years we have said no and the rest of the world was willing to embrace us. We as parents are responsible for creating an environment that is stable for progress; even if for the little things. Everything will add up over time so start now; start saying yes.
*Photo borrowed from http://www.iloveachildwithautism.com/AutismShirts.html, they sell awesome T-shirts to helo support autism awareness
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